Quotes from the author:
And what about a parent’s relationship with a child? When children are little, they are very dependent, very vulnerable. It becomes so easy to neglect the PC work—the training, the communicating, the relating, and the listening. It’s easy to take advantage, to manipulate, to get what you want the way want it—right now! You’re bigger, you’re smarter, and you are right! So why not just ell them what do to? If necessary, yell at them, intimidate them, insist on your way.
Or you can indulge them. You can go for the golden egg of popularity, of pleading them, giving them their way all the time. Then they grow up without any internal sense of standards or expectations, without a personal commitment to being disciplined or responsible.
Either way—authoritarian or permissive—you have the golden egg mentality. You want to have your way or you want to be liked. But what happens, meantime, to the goose? What sense of responsibility, of self-discipline, of confidence in the ability to make good choices or achieve important goals is a child going to have a few years down the road? And what about your relationship? When he reaches those critical teenage years, the identity crises, will he know from his experience with you that you will listen without judging, that you really, deeply care about him as a person, that you can be trusted, no matter what? Will the relationship be strong enough for you to reach him, to communicate with him, to influence him?
Managers, in most companies, looked on leadership training as time for a free lunch, refreshments, and snacks. They were unable to think of the effectiveness of Covey’s P/PC balance. Although I didn’t know the term in my younger years, I did know that bosses were more of a problem then their employees, and, as I have said before, I wasn’t a typical HR type. Actually I’m not “fond” of anyone who has personal agendas that conflict with effective team play.
An example, from many years ago, involved the senior staff in a Dow office. This group took a trip out west to participate in a team-building exercise, conducted by a well-known leadership guru. The senior staff returned with great expectations, but the results of the training lasted about six months. Why? Simply, without reinforcement by the president to his staff, the benefits of the training were quickly forgotten. and were replaced with; you guessed it, the same behaviors as BEFORE the trip.
“Leaders are like eagles; they don’t flock; you find them one at a time”
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