Again, this session is to help understand the basic four social styles, and to learn how to relate to each to ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood’.
Social Styles Summary
Social Styles is a study of behavior (words, tone, body language). We can’t know what people are thinking or how they are feeling, but we can see behavior, so we focus on that.
We have a “home-base” social style but depending on whom we are interacting with we will find ourselves in all four social styles, temporarily.
When we leave our “home base” it increases our tension and stress, but we leave our “home” so we can effectively interact with those who have different “home-bases”.
Tension and stress is increased when we leave “home-base” and so we must return to our “home” as soon as possible to relieve that stress.
The ability to move freely from one social style to another is called Versatility.
I’ve found this study of social styles using 2 dimensions is the easiest process I know for successfully identifying behavior correctly.
This process can be used in all social or professional interaction to improve relationships, increase sales, control meetings, and reduce stress.
Guideline for Recognition
There are 4 basic social styles; Amiable, Analytical, Driver, Expressive.
Recognition is most accurate by observing one dimension at a time.
These social styles are recognized using 2 dimensions; Assertiveness, and Responsiveness.
Amiables and Analyticals are “Ask” Assertive on the Assertiveness scale, which means they
Ask questions more often than make statements
Seldom interrupt others
Pause before answering questions
Seldom uses voice to emphasize
Tend to lean backward
Drivers and Expressives are “Tell” Assertive on the Assertiveness scale, which means they
Make statements more often than ask questions
Frequently interrupts others
Answer questions immediately
Frequently uses voice for emphasis
Tends to lean forward
Responsiveness, the other Social Style dimension, assesses whether the individual is “Control Responsive” or “Emote Responsive”.
Analyticals and Drivers are “Control Responsive” which means they
Limit facial expressions
Have infrequent eye contact while LISTENING
Have minimal body movement
Show a narrow range of personal feelings
Use “fact oriented” language
Limit vocal variety
Use specific language
Amiables and Expressives are “Emote Responsive” which means they
Vary facial expression
Have frequent eye contact while LISTENING
Have expansive body movement
Show a broad range of personal feelings
Uses “feeling oriented” language
Use expansive vocal variety
Use general language
My social style is Expressive. I’ve taken the test several times, and have always “landed” in that category. Those of you who know me should observe my behavior to help you get a sense of what I’m trying to convey.
Relating social style to Covey’s statement, ‘Most people, in making presentations, go straight to Logos (left brain logic)’ helps explain why I believe that the styles of Analytical and Driver increases their desire/need to go straight to Logos. Examples include, they are fact oriented, use specific language, interrupt others, and are business-like.
Next week I’ll continue my Habit 5 discussion.
Next: Habit 5
Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood
One On One