Principles Of Growth and Change continued
More personal comments from my January 8 post
The focus of these comments is on the following statement from Covey: “To relate effectively we must learn to listen. And this requires emotional strength. Listening involves patience, openness, and the desire to understand—highly developed qualities of character.”
This is very simple. If you don’t have enough respect to listen, really listen, to another person then don’t bother, and don’t “pretend” to listen. If your time is spent, while the other person is talking, preparing a response, then I know not to share my time with you.
This happened to me in a meeting recently: I commented on some concerns I had, and my comments were greeted with, “there’s no problem” (his standard answer to anything he doesn’t agree with). This is a common occurrence with those who want to control the conversation, and the agenda. This person loves to create fear in a group so that conversation is limited, and he’s successful at it.
Since listening requires patience, openness, and the desire to understand, few individuals have developed these qualities at any level. We should all understand the dilemma; either we possess the qualities to listen or we don’t, and it should be an easy test to figure out. If you are listening, you are truly focusing on what the person is saying (words and behaviors), not focusing on your response, or “daydreaming”.
Remember, “Leaders are like eagles; they don’t flock; you find them one at a time” (where I live leaders are almost extinct)
Next: “Inside-Out” continued
The way we see the problem IS the problem