Character (three character traits: Integrity, Maturity, Abundance Mentality, continued):
Integrity and Maturity were covered in the last two posts.
“ABUNDANCE MENTALITY. The third character trait essential to Win/Win is the Abundance Mentality, the paradigm that there is plenty out there for everybody.
Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else. The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life.
People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit—even with those who help in the production. They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the successes of other people—even, and sometimes especially, members of their own family or close friends and associates. It’s almost as if something is being taken from them when someone else receives special recognition or windfall gain or has remarkable success or achievement.
It’s difficult for people with a Scarcity Mentality to be members of a complementary team. They look on differences as signs of insubordination and disloyalty.
The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision-making. It opens possibilities, option, alternatives, and creativity.
The Abundance Mentality takes the personal joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment of Habits 1, 2, and 3 and turns it outward appreciating the uniqueness, the inner direction, the proactive nature of others. It recognizes the unlimited possibilities for positive interactive growth and development, creating new Third Alternatives.
A character rich in integrity, maturity, and the Abundance Mentality has a genuineness that goes far beyond technique, or lack, of it, in human interaction.
But remember: if we search deeply enough within ourselves—beyond the scripting, beyond the learned attitudes and behaviors—the real validation of Win/Win, as well as every other correct principle, is in our own lives.”
At one point, early in my life, I was burdened with this Scarcity Mentality idea. I actually thought more money was the secret to happiness. Through the years, as reality and experience set in, I woke up to the fact that money wasn’t making me happy or content. It was the satisfaction gained through valuable relationships, and helping others. The satisfaction was gain through the concept of “leading from behind”.
This concept has been derided recently in the “political” arena, but there is an effective way to succeed at it, for the leader and for those being led. When used properly the results are fascinating to watch.
Employees are use to managers taking credit for the success employees attained, but with this concept, employees receive the accolades, and recognition. Observing the employees reaction was more satisfying than most every other aspect of my work.
Next: Habit 4
Relationships (Covey’s 5 Dimensions of Win/Win posted on 2-18-15)