Chapter 4 The Quest For Dignity, Self-Appreciation
Author quotes from Chapter 4:
“I have chosen to use self-appreciation to describe this part of our work together because it means ‘to value oneself highly.’ Self-appreciation leads to healthy self-esteem, a positive self-image, and a feeling of being worthy, but it also leads to the most important result of this level of understanding: a sense of dignity, a complete and absolute respect for oneself.
No matter what your age, the essence of who you are has been covered up over the years by layers of beliefs and assumptions about yourself and others. These began accumulating from the time you were born and resulted from the interactions with the people and tasks in your life. From what transpired in these interactions, you came to conclusions about yourself and your place in the world. Many of these conclusions were incorrect because they were based on erroneous information. They are true for you only because you believe them to be so.
This is not to suggest that all we know about ourselves is invalid. We can all identify valuable lessons and insight into ourselves from which we have benefited. For far too many of us, however, the challenges of the years have meant the accumulation of limiting beliefs and assumptions that blur our vision of what is possible for our lives.
Many people deny and try to forget their past because it is too painful to confront, especially if they regard their wrongdoing as a major offense. All of us, however, have a dark side, and if we are not to deceive ourselves, we must acknowledge the truth of its existence.
Acceptance—coming to terms with your own humanness and being at peace with all your imperfections—is another wonderful reward of forgiveness. It is the understanding that your journey through life is special, that the twists and turns of detours have made you what you are today. Acceptance is the comfort that comes with the realization that paradoxically we are perfect, imperfect human beings.”
Self-Appreciation is not to be confused with Self-Absorption/Self-Centeredness. Those with deep Self-Appreciation are easily identified by their demeanor, and interest in others. Self-Appreciation is a “quiet, internal appreciation/reflection”.
I’m not impressed, or interested in those who think the world needs to know every detail of their lives, ad nausea. A recent example is an overnight guest who would begin a conversation, and would not stop talking unless interrupted, when they took a breath…
I am impressed with those who have enough Self-Appreciation to show, and express, interest in others, and what others have to say.