Character (three character traits: Integrity, Maturity, Abundance Mentality, continued):
INTEGRITY was covered in last week’s post.
“MATURITY. Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. If a person can express his feelings and convictions with courage balanced with consideration for the feelings and convictions of another person, he is mature, particularly if the issue is very important to both parties.
Respect for this quality is deeply ingrained in the theory of human interaction, management, and leadership. It is a deep embodiment of the P/PC balance. While courage may focus on getting the golden egg, consideration deals with the long-term welfare of the other stakeholders. The basic task of leadership is to increase the standard of living and the quality of life for all stakeholders.
Many people think in dichotomies, in either/or terms. They think if you’re nice, you’re not tough. But Win/Win is nice…and tough. It’s twice as tough as Win/Lose. To go for Win/Win, you not only have to be nice, you have to be courageous. You not only have to be empathic, you have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you have to be brave. To do that, to achieve that balance between courage and consideration, is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to Win/Win.
If I’m high on courage and low on consideration, how will I think? Win/Lose. I’ll be strong and ego bound. I’ll have the courage of my convictions, but I won’t be very considerate of yours.
To compensate for my lack of internal maturity and emotional strength, I might borrow strength from my position and power, or from my credentials, my seniority, my affiliations.
If I’m high on consideration and low on courage, I’ll think Lose/Win. I’ll be so considerate of your convictions and desires that I won’t have the courage to express and actualize my own.
High courage and consideration are both essential to Win/Win. It is the balance that is the mark of real maturity. If I have it, I can listen, I can empathically understand, but I can also courageously confront.”
Personal comments related to:
“The basic task of leadership….” Increasing employees standard of living, and quality of life is Win/Win since it likely will increase trust, communication, job satisfaction, productivity, courage, consideration, creativity,……
“To compensate for my lack of internal maturity….” Giving someone a title can impact the way interact with others. Again, I’ll tell the story of an individual who met with me to tell me how bad their boss was, detailing behavior that was unacceptable. Not long after, this person’s boss was moved to a new job, and the complaining individual was elevated to manager of that group. Unfortunately, since it was the only management style she knew, she proceeded to use the same “style” of management, with the same results. Learning appropriate leadership skills takes desire to be taught them, and the will and commitment to apply them.
“High courage and consideration…..” It doesn’t take long to determine if an individual thinks Win/Win when you listen carefully to the words spoken, the tone in which they are delivered, and observe body language.
Next: Habit 4
Five Dimensions of Win/Win (Part III)